roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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