Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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