Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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