A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Stephen Hawking

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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