A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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