What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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