What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

the canadian, the chinese man, and the black guy walk into the at different times and buy different things

thumb_up thumb_down -23

boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops