Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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