Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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