Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Women's Rights

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops