::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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