Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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Once, I went to Peru.

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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