A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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