Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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Women's Rights

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops