How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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