Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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what long green and bumpy? a pickle

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Laugh.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops