How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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