How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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outside your comfort zone

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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