What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Why? Because.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops