Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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