knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops