Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

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Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS JOKE??? A: Another joke you didn't think was funny... REFRIGERATOR!! O.k. Now it's funny!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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