In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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Alchohol.

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops