- Anti Joke

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

POOP.....People Order Our Patties

what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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