My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops