There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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