While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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lets bomb africa

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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