What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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A dyslexic blind man

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Antijokes...

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops