Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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