Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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