What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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