Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops