Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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