Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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An man walks to a bra

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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