What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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knock knock!? . . No.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops