What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

what are three short words? i a am

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

rarw

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

WILLYS

Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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