Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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