Please don't shoot me

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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taking out the trash... at night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops