why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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