what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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what's white and sticky semen

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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