A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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