A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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A young baby died.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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hi

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops