life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats fat and gay joe diragi

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down -7

this website is a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops