Cheese

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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