Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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