So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Old, Asian, Woman who drive

thumb_up thumb_down -17

ever tried african food? they neither

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anyone can post anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

your mom is so stupid she got raped

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops