Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q.Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? A.One is a human and the other is an inanimate object used to give people a rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats white jizz

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened to the orphan when it walked to the park? He found his birth parents........but then they were killed by a crazy hobo and he was taken away and molested

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops