Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Why did little john fall off his bike? Somebody threw microwave oven at him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops