Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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CFL

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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