A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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