- Anti Joke

A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe