Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

Neither have I, nobody knew him.

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...