Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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What is 9+10? 19

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The Princess is in another castle

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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