You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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