Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

You know what's funny? A well told joke

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

How did the dog die? He was put down.

Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

Once, I went to Peru.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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