Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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Frontbut-

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops